Failure and the People Who Fail You

We all fail.  Every single one of us fails at something.  Maybe, it feels like we fail all the time.  It’s depressing to be sure.

I know.  Sometimes, I feel like a total abject failure in spite of the successes I’ve made.  Looking outside, we wouldn’t assume some people feel that way.  I get that a lot.  “Oh, you’re a published author! You’ve got a novel out there!  That’s so exciting!  You’ve made it!!”

They’re right and oh, so wrong.  It’s really exciting.  But, I’m hardly a best seller at this point and I still have to work for a living.  I know plenty of authors who have published multiple novels and still work regular jobs.  There are a lot more of those kind of writers than you think.

I am one of them.

Yes, it’s depressing, but it doesn’t make me a failure, right?

Right?

Failing at something is as simple as not getting what you were going for, or something that just didn’t happen.  Failure, I have learned is an excellent, if not harsh teacher.  You can learn a lot about yourself when you fail at something, but to be clear about what it takes to fail means you have to actually TRY to do something in order to fail.

If you spend more time staring at a blank page and hitting up your FB page about how you almost wrote something doesn’t make you a writer.  It doesn’t even make you a failed writer.

It makes you lazy first and foremost.

That’s not failure-you’re a very successful lazy bastard!

So, how do people fail you?  Failing yourself is easy.  So, how can someone fail you?

They can’t, really.

Maybe they fail to meet your expectations, which again falls right on us doesn’t it?  It is your expectation, isn’t it?

Which is why you really can’t count on a whole lot of people I’m very sad to say.  But, here and there, you’ll find some folks who will totally back you all the way and they’ll help you as much as possible.

There’s more that won’t though, sorry to say.  And they won’t even mean to do it.  Does it mean they’re bad folks?  Not really.  People are people.  They think they’re helping you all the time, even when they are very much decidedly NOT doing anything remotely close to helping you.

You really have only yourself to rely on I’m afraid.  For the most part, anyway…rare exceptions excluded.  You may have an awesome support group and you then are lucky as hell.  You need to be aware of that and be grateful as anything.

Now, why am I writing about this?

No reason at all, really.

Just trying not to fail anymore and trying not to blame anyone else for it.  That’s easy to do… well, for me anyway.  People are infuriating at times, what with them, insisting on doing their own thing and all.  I try not to blame other people for letting me down, because the expectations I put on myself are bad enough, let alone expecting other people to be on board.

Does this make sense?

Probably failing at that right now…oi!

Never ends.

Being afraid to fail is different than not wanting to fail.  I’m not afraid of failure as much as I am tired of failing.

So who needs to help me stop failing?

Well?

Me.

I’m the only one.  I have a small group of folks that are amazing and help me, but it’s really up to me.

So, I’ll keep swinging because the article I want to write about success is gonna  be awesome.

One day…